Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Feeling ALMOST Normal

I have gotten into size 12s comfortably the past week or so. I know I still have 30 pounds to lose, but I am more determined than ever. Weight Watchers was definitely a good choice for me. I am learning a lot about eating "normally"...as in, I don't have to eat everything today, because I can eat a little and have more tomorrow if I want it.

In the past, I would eat everything in sight (planning to start the diet ---tomorrow).  I enjoyed ONE chocolate truffle the other day (2 points) and stopped at that. It was an ah-ha moment for me. I only ate the one. I have been known to eat the entire package...in secret, of course. But, this time, I ate one and told myself I can have one everyday until the package is gone if I choose. So far, I've only eaten one more. This restraint is new for me. :)

I am starting to feel normal again. Like a normal person. I walked past a mirror the other day, and I could truly see the results of my hard work. Of course, I still see so many flaws, but I'm working on those. I'm also working on not being so tough on myself.

When, I was out at the restaurant with Cindy, I felt normal. I didn't feel self-conscious about my size. I like that feeling. Not feeling like I need to hide and blend into the walls. It was nice.

I did however find myself wishing two things:
  1. I wish I hadn't waited so long to get my act together.
  2. I wish I did not waste so much time losing weight only to regain it and having to lose it again! I get frustrated with myself. Wasted time.
But, I have *GOT* to let this go. I have caught myself thinking these thoughts too often nowadays. This is water under the bridge. That time is gone. It is time for me to focus on my future. A healthy future.

I love this quote I found in my Guidepost Magazine (March 2011):

"I try to incorporate faith every day, to not remind myself of past failures, to learn how to forgive and to trust the future." 
~Vanessa Williams 

Isn't that wonderful!

Forgiving Myself,
J
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7 comments:

  1. divadFebruary 23, 2011 at 9:21 AM

    The quote is wonderful and so are you! Doesn't it feel great to look and feel "normal"? It's an interesting place to be.

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  2. AnonymousFebruary 23, 2011 at 9:48 AM

    My dad used to always say, "If wish and but were apples and nuts, we'd all have a jolly good time." I try not to focus on my past too...gently letting it go when it comes up.

    Hooray for feeling "normal" whatever that means to each individual. No more secret eating...now that's a concept.

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  3. KarenFebruary 23, 2011 at 9:56 AM

    I have the same wishes as you. And I WISH I didn't. That I just focused on the here and now. Mostly I do. But sometimes I still look back with regret. Sigh.

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  4. LynnFebruary 23, 2011 at 10:10 AM

    You are doing absolutely wonderful! I am a lifetime member of Weight Watcher's.. I also have around 30 pounds to lose.. all over again.. Hopefully, this time, will be for the last time! Keep up the wonderful job J!! Wish me luck with mine!

    Blessings,
    ~Lynn

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  5. KerriFebruary 23, 2011 at 10:30 AM

    I love your blog. Your success makes the rest of us believe that we too might be able to figure this whole eating and exercising thing out. Thank you!

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  6. Hannah HoushangiFebruary 23, 2011 at 3:52 PM

    It's nice to walk around and not feel self conscious. Just to feel like you merge in and no one is thinking 'look at the fat lady'. I can relate to that!

    ReplyDelete
  7. UnknownFebruary 23, 2011 at 10:53 PM

    That quote is spot on...like many people, I try to live my life with no regrets...when I feel down about a bad period in my life I try to remember that I like the person I am today...and if it meant that I had to go through those things to learn certain lessons then I can't regret them.

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