I've posted on this before, and I've seen many of you post on it as well.
I think we women are really bad about comparing ourselves to other women. But, we don't take into account that we are *completely* different from the women we comparing ourselves to! It's like comparing a circle to a square! An apple to an orange! The ocean to the mountains! It's crazy! They are both wonderful...made to be just what they are...why compare?
When I was in high school, my best friend was a tiny little petite girl. She was under 5 feet tall. Tiny body, tiny feet, tiny hands. Little bitty thing. Her name was Sandy. Isn't that perfect? Everyone loved to pick her up. She was like a little doll.
I felt SO HUGE. I was 5'7". I wore a size 7 pant. I wore a size 8 shoe. There was nothing tiny about me. I wanted to be like Sandy. However, there wasn't anything I could do about it...Oh, I tried starving a few times, but I couldn't shrink! It is sad to think back on it. There was nothing fair about comparing myself to her. God made us totally, completely different!!!!!!!!!! Sandy always wanted to be tall, I always wanted to be little. Oh, my.
Now, that is definitely typical of teenagers. But, admit it. We do this as adults, too. We just might not admit it out loud. Is my butt as big as hers? Are my thighs as firm as hers? Do I have as much cellulite as she does? Is my hair as frizzy as hers? Is my skin as smooth as hers?Do I have as many wrinkles as she does? Does my outfit look as great as hers does? etc, etc, etc
Last Sunday, another friend of mine called me. She has been through the loop in the last two years. She battled breat cancer. She lost both breasts, but she beat cancer. What a warrior! Now, they have found suspicious cells in her uterous. She will be having a hysterectomy. On the phone, she said that she will no longer be a woman. I asked if the situation was reversed and it was me, would she think that I wasn't a woman anymore? Of course, she said no way! I said, well, why would you say that to yourself?
We all know the answer. WE ARE THE HARDEST ON OURSELVES!!!!
Why is this?
We say things to ourselves that we would never say to anyone else. AND, we believe them!
Just to finish the story, we finally agreed that our "parts" don't make us real women...our hearts do. And my friend has the heart of an angel! She will be fine. But, the truth is: She can't compare herself to someone who hasn't fought the same battle as she has. It isn't fair to herself.
Just like you can't.
Just like I can't.
It isn't fair.
I'm starting the "NO FAIR to Compare" Campaign.
Let's stop. I want to embrace ourselves. Let's love ourselves!
We can do it.
J
YOu always give me something to think about J! Why oh why must we women compare ourselves? God made us all our own individual selves. I bet he hate when we compare ourselves. I do it all the time: she's such a good writer...I am not, she looks good even without makeup...I don't even go to the mailbox without mine on, she has perfect hair and mine is so difficult, I could go on and on. Thanks for the reminder that we are all special in our own way.
ReplyDeletelove this!
ReplyDeletewhat a great friend you are! i will try to keep that in mind in judging myself!
Thanks for stopping by my blog. I've actually checked in on your blog from time to time. (Kerri recommended you to me!) And, I always enjoy reading your posts. And, today's post was yet another really good one! So true! I am probably the worst offenders when it comes to comparing myself to others. It's a hard habit to break, but I'm trying. (By the way, do you notice this is a woman issue? Can you imagine a man comparing himself to another man and saying, 'Oh, I wish I could be as nicely dressed as him.' or 'He has such good hair!' or 'Why can't I be organized like him?')
ReplyDeleteLove this! :D
ReplyDeleteIt's a marvel why we believe things we would NEVER think of in relation to someone else. We are cruel to ourselves. It's time we saw ourselves as the blessings we are! Standup and be counted!
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