Well...today, was not so hot with the eats! Oops... I did fine for breakfast and lunch. Kept myself in control and feeling so proud of me. Then, my in-laws (yes, them again) show up and get my girls from school...uh, oh! Yes, they have surprised me and taken my kids and they have decided to STAY FOR DINNER!
Okay, well...I should be grateful they are taking the kids. I can work for an hour or two by myself....Instead, I feed the anxiety. I work for one hour. Get in my car to run kid-free errands...end up at Dairy Queen...yep! Chicken fingers AND gravy. I was in a panic (why, I am not sure) about dinner. I was torn between telling my wonderful husband his parents are driving me crazy and I need a break OR being grateful for their help and loving my kids.
I had pork chops in the crock pot...not enough for them though. So, I came home and packed those babies up for tomorrow night. Then, I ordered a pizza! Ate only one slice, but can I really be proud of that? I had 4 chicken fingers earlier!
Then, we are all roasting in my house. I look at the thermostat, and MIL has set it on 79! It's August in the south! It is like 100 degrees here. We keep the air between 70 and 73. And, she is straightening up everything around me. Thank goodness the housekeeper came today...I'm not sure what MIL was doing. The house looked great to me (it usually takes my kids about 20 minutes to destroy it, but today was better).
They left finally. AND I ate an oatmeal cream pie!
WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME?
Why am I letting this relationship dictate how I treat myself? I am really going to work on this ...and try very hard to stop letting her make me feel insecure. Or should I say stop letting myself feel insecure around her. She may not even know what she is doing... hmmm.
*sigh* Tomorrow, I will be back on track. Just derailed for a minute.
Hold on,
J
Breakfast: protein shake, apple
Snack: almonds
Lunch: soup and salad
You know the rest...
3 diet cokes and water, too....
Yep, yep, yep. Been there. Like you said, at least we don't stay in the bad eats like we used too. 4 chicken fingers and a piece of pizza is a minor slip not a indictment of your character ;)
ReplyDeleteBTW, book that changed my life: Boundaries, When to Say No, When to Say Yes. Drs.Cloud/Townsend.
Was the beginning of me not defining who I was through the eyes of my parents or ExJerk.
But you also recognize that emotional eating for what it is. Maybe you need to think ahead for something else you can do to release the feelings before the next time rolls along. Maybe you can head to your blog and rant:)
ReplyDeleteI agree with waisting time - perhaps your emotional eating would lessen if you had another way to get out your frustration. It seems like a visit from the in-laws directly coincides with "I want to eat my weight in hot fudge" (not that I've ever tried to do that or anything... hehe) :)
ReplyDeleteHang in there. I think you should discuss the situation with hubby and talk about setting boundaries with your in-laws. Maybe you should just move far, far away. :) You recognize the emotional eating, now you just need to make a plan for the next time you are faced with an emotional situation so you can make a better choice.
ReplyDeleteCatching up today....
ReplyDeleteAfter reading your posts I think first off that it's great your reading Beth Moore's book. She sounds like an awesome writer.
Secondly, you are normal in putting yourself down because of your weight. I found myself doing that all the time. I know that the beginning of my journey was to learn how to accept myself for who I was, in all areas (even concerning MIL), and then I was able to start believing I could lose weight for real.
I spent the first year working through a lot of emotions you are mentioning. It's not easy, but allowing yourself to work through those and taking them to God in prayer will bring good results in the end. You are normal, my friend, and you will be able to overcome these situations with a little bit of work and a whole lot of faith that God can help you. :)
Have a good weekend!