I used to take extended vacations at this not so lovely place of "Not Enough Land."
I wasn't thin enough to:
- wear sleeveless shirts
- swim in public with my children
- wear shorts (longer ones) in 100* weather
- wear cute summer dresses
- dance in front of others
- draw attention to myself
- wear fashionable clothes
- walk proudly alongside my two sisters
- see people that I haven't seen in awhile
- stand up for myself
- try new things
- walk in front of a large group of people
- try on clothes at stores
- step on the scale with confidence at the doctor's office
- enjoy a girls vacation to the beach with my friends
- spend money on my clothes
I could probably make the list a lot longer if I had time to sit and think!
I see how much my self-worth was tied to my weight. I wish so much that it wasn't true. I wish that I wasn't insecure. I wish I knew I was valued by others regardless of my weight. Why did I let something have such control over me? Why didn't I take control of IT sooner if bothered me so much?
Does this make me vain? Why do I care so much about these extra pounds? Why have I let my weight have such influence over most decisions I make?
I am starting to feel better, and I am confident this summer will be more fun than last. I do swim, boat, ski with my family...just not in front of guests. I am thinking a lot is about to change about me.
I'm done visiting Not Enough Land.
I am enough. JUST AS ME.
You are too,
J
I'm hearing you on that one mate.
ReplyDeleteI am in "Not Enough Land" again.
Great post and I understand. It's sad though, isn't it? Our self-worth being tied to what we weight. We really are good people...with a weight problem. It's not like we're heinous criminals, but we treat ourselves as such sometimes.
ReplyDeleteWell said. Coming to understand ourselves apart from that scale number or perceived size is so essential to long term success on this journey. You are enough.
ReplyDeleteI love this post. One of the things I try to remember is that we tend to take better care of the things we love, not hate. So, if we want to take better care of ourselves, it would only make sense that we LOVE ourselves first. Then the rest becomes so much easier.
ReplyDeleteYes you are girl! I thought I was too fat to swim in the pool at the gym, then I did and did 3 triathlons after that. I thought I was too fat to do cycle, then 7 months later I was certified to teach it! Our doubts holds us back so much. You are enough and so am I. Yay that we know now!
ReplyDeleteOh boy, I've lived in "not enough land" for nearly 10 years now. Shorts in public? No way! A swim suit? Ha! I avoided all vacation spots that were going to be warm. But this last year has been great! I'm going to need a swimsuit this year, and I'm not terrified of the idea. Trying on new clothes...bring it on! A vacation on a beach...sign me up! :-)
ReplyDeleteAmen! I can say yes to every single thing on your list! Every single one! Enough for me too!
ReplyDeleteGreat post J!
Have a pretty day!
Kristin
Amen! You are enough. Great post!
ReplyDelete