A Sad Day

Today was a very sad day for me. A well-liked, dedicated, friendly, loving mother of a student at our school died today. She was a year older than me. She went to bed with a bad headache and never woke up again. They discovered some amniotic fluid caused a clot that went to her brain...she also has a one year old and a 4 week old...let me explain. They were blessed with their first little girl. They tried and tried and tried to have more children. They suffered through many miscarriages. They decided to adopt. God brought them a beautiful baby boy through private adoption (just finalized last week). About a month after the little boy arrived, she found out she was pregnant. A miracle baby. Another little girl. A lovely family of five. Oh, how they love the Lord, too. I just cannot believe it.

Why? I believe we cannot explain these things. There is no why. No explanation.

I have mentioned before that I work at a Christian school. There was a meeting after school. Of course, afterwards, several smaller groups broke up to pray for this father. The huge tasks before him. The bright first grader...her questions, fears, ...her mommy was very active in her life. She was at the school several days a week. Some people kept saying...The Lord has a reason for doing this. It will be revealed. Is this how it is? I'm not sure that is how I feel.

In Jeremiah 29:11 it says, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

THIS, I believe. God does have plans for us. He knows what is coming. But, does He cause stuff like this to happen? Not sure I believe that part. Can He make good come from this? Yes, I believe that. Does He control all? Yes. But, I also believe He lets life happen, too. Accidents, health issues. However, I do believe he is in the miracle business. I cannot explain why some people get the miracle and some don't.

I might ramble here a minute.

I have mentioned before that I was critically injured as a child. I'm not going to go into detail. It would give away my identity. I was somewhat famous for it ...it was nationally covered believe it or not. People at my church would say, "God has a reason for choosing you." Hmmm. Did He? Was it just an accident and God used it in my life? I think I believe that. An accident happened to me. It was bad. God saved me. A miracle. Then, He used it to enrich my life rather than hinder me. Perhaps I am biased on things like this because I can't bear to think that God chose me to get hurt badly...I am not sure.

Or...my husband. Did God give him cancer? I don't think so. I think he just got sick. God was greatly involved in healing him though. I believe that. BUT, I can't explain why another little girl in my class is without her mother due to cancer (she died last spring after a very long battle).

I believe we are all God's children. He does not want us to suffer. I think He hurts when we hurt. I think He helps or wants to help us through the hurt. We have to turn to Him. Sometimes easier said than done, I realize. People endure terrible tragedies.

For some reason, I just cannot make myself believe that God "made" this happen. Did He know this was coming? Yes. Could He have stopped it? Yes. Could He have saved her? Yes. I cannot explain why life just happened. I think she just had a blood clot in her brain. These awful things happen, but God has a plan for the new family of four. He wants them to prosper and have hope.


God is almighty and all-knowing. I teach this. I believe this. Some things I cannot explain. Maybe I'll ask Him about them one day.

What are your thoughts?

Go kiss and hug your loved ones,
J