Loving me...failed

I did two posts on what I like about me...physically....

Sad, I can't find anything else. My hands and my eyes. That's all I was willing to put up here on the blog.

Sad, sad, sad...

There are some things that I am beginning to think are "okay" but I can't really say...I LOVE MY _____.

So, I'm going to make a list of 5 traits I love about me...maybe this counts:
1. I am very loyal to those I love: friends and family.
2. I am a romantic to my core. I want everyone to be happy and find their perfect mate.
3. I am flexible. Nothing really rattles me. I can spring into action at a moment's notice, and I never mind if plans change.
4. I am generous.
5. I am very loving. I love with my whole heart.

These things are definitely more important than skinny hips and a cute butt...why don't they cheer me up as much as losing 5 pounds?

Maybe, I need therapy! :)

When you know better, you do better.

I could apply this sentiment to so many areas of my life. Mostly, I am working on applying it the scale. I don't need to focus on it half as much as I do. Rather, I need to focus on my inner beauty and how I feel.

The rest will come.

Do you deal with these feelings, too?

J

Emotional Roller Coaster

I eat for all reasons.

Sometimes, I don't even know/realize I am eating. It is pointless eating. I almost don't taste the stuff I am scarfing down.
Yet, I believe it makes me feel better. I must believe this. Why else would I eat my emotions over and over again?

Recently, I have begun trying to stop myself in those moments and analyze the reasons for my emotional eating. I have been asking myself: What is wrong in this moment? What are you feeling?

Sounds a little mental, I know. But, I 've been able to stop myself a few times. Slow progress.

If this lifestyle is going to be for life, I have to get a handle on emotional eating.

Emotions are for life. Life is hard. Stress will always be there.

Don't get me wrong, I eat for happy reasons, too. It just seems worse when things are stressful, lonely, or agitated.

We are adding onto our house----big stressful project. AND, my job may change in August. another stressor.

I know I cannot eat these feelings of "out of control"...but I'm learning how to cope and deal with it. Knowing and doing are two different things.

Do you eat for emotional reasons?

J

a name

My name is Jess. Many of you know me as J. I started this blog with the intention of being completely anonymous. However, as I've gotten to "know" you...I feel that I've been holding back a little too much.

I was reading another blog last night. The blogger said that every time she takes a big break from blogging things are not going well in her "weight" world. That is so me.

I guess I am trying to hide from you: Hide my feelings, my failures, my insecurities, my lapses, my mistakes...

but we are friends.

We help each other and support through the ups and downs, right?

So...I'm going to try to be more real...more me.

Thank you for your friendship.
J

Relapse and Restart

Well, I am getting better from my gallbladder surgery. I feel so much relief. I had been having severe backpain, nausea, and abdominal pain. Now, I am just a little sore but starting to feel like ME.

I am holding steady around 175. I really need to get back on the wagon. I am glad that I haven't gained, but it is time to get back to losing. I need to be more conscious of every thing I put in my mouth.

Here's one BIG failure... For some crazy reason, I started drinking Diet Coke again. When I was so nauseous, water just didn't sit well with me. I tried a DC. It was so good...down the slippery slope I went! Yesterday, I realized that was all I had to drink all day long.

I knew that I couldn't handle that drink in moderation. I told my husband: DO NOT BUY ME ANYMORE.
I have kicked the habit before, and I can do it again.

It has only been a week since my surgery, but I feel like I could start walking again this week.

Hopefully, I will be a few pounds down by the end of the week. Wish me luck.
J

Gallbladder Gone

So...not sure if remember but awhile back I thought I might be having some gallbladder issues. Well, last weekend I got really sick---again! I went to the doctor on Monday, ultrasound on Tuesday, met with surgeon on Thursday....gallbladder removed on Friday! Speedy, I know!

I am doing great though. Just really sore! At home and recovering...

Talk to you soon,
J

Good Eating=Good Feeling

So...I can honestly say I've been back on the TRUE bandwagon since Saturday. Staying under 29 points, yadda, yadda, yadda. You know the drill: eating well, exercising, drinking water. What we all know we should do but sometimes some of us (ME!) make it seem so hard to do!

It really is amazing how much better I feel and how quickly I could tell.

I hesitate to use the word "clean" b/c I am not eating a "clean" diet like you read about...but I am clean from fast food, fried food, greasy / unhealthy foods...foods that I think taste so good in the moment but make me feel like, well, crap. Sorry, but true.

After two days, my tummy was slightly flatter. After 3 days, I just felt overall better. Slept better. Less bloaty. And...more in control. Do I have cravings for chocolate? yes. Especially today (TOM) but I've resisted. See---back in control.

We have been so busy the past two weeks. We were eating out more often than we should have, I was tired and cutting corners in the kitchen, and when my husband went out of town...well, let's just say Pizza Hut was called to the house. Sad, but true. Me and stress and busyness don't get along. I put the food bandaids on! I've got to stop that!

I'm so glad I didn't quit and gain it ALL back. The old me would have. I am mad enough about having to lose this five pounds over again! UGH. Why do I do that?

Well, I'm eating the right things and feeling good now. Hope you are too.
J

Eye See Me

Okay, so you know I've been working on learning to like things about me.

#1 was my hands

This installment brings you my eyes...

weirdo picture, I know! But, I was trying for a close up.

This photo is without makeup. I've always received compliments on my eyes. My eyes are kinda big, but I don't think in a bad way. I have really thick lashes on top--great for mascara. I really like mascara! My eyes are green. No one else in my family has eyes the same color. Lots of blue eyed folks around me. I once wished with all my might to have blue eyes like my sister. My oldest child has inherited my eyes, and I love that. So, why don't I love it on me? Well, I think I may be close.

My eyes let me soak in my loved ones. I have two of the most beautiful children (I'm biased, I know). I could look at them for HOURS. I love to see them laugh, play, and oh...I love to watch them sleep. Isn't it wonderful! I love to look at my handsome husband...he's still makes my heart flutter.

I think my eyes let me show my sincerity. You can truly see my true heart through my eyes. My eyes will tell you how I am feeling.

So...there you have it...my second thing I'm liking about me today...

SEE you later,
J