Here I am...
I need to come clean. I have been on an Emotional Eating Roller Coaster. That's the only way to explain it. I weigh 179. I have held my weigh there...I don't know how, really. It is a miracle of some sort. I have told myself I WILL NOT go back to the 180s but I haven't resumed healthy eats. Well, today I am coming clean with you---my support group.
I have been stressed out. Lots of things. I could list them all, but does it matter??? No. I knew the whole time that I was emotional eating. I knew it. I also knew it wasn't helping. I was just eating to fill some hole up...but I continued to feel stressed. I am ready for my restart.
Here we go.
I hope no one was worried. I know when I used to get frustrated when people would just up and quit blogging for awhile. I would worry about them. I'm sorry. I just was too embarassed to say that I was struggling. Even though I know it happens.
I'm ready to get back on the plan.
J
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
The ABC's of ME!
Something fun for today...feel free to play along!
(A) Age: 36 (How and when did this happen!)
(B) Bed Size: King
(C) Chore You Hate: Getting ready for the housekeeper to come! Oh, I crack myself up! No, I really don't like putting laundry away. I'm good with washing, drying, and folding. Not so good with putting it away...
(D) Dogs? No, we have an asthmatic child who desperately wants a dog!
(E) Essential Start Your Day Item: My husband waking me up with a hug and a cup of coffee in his hand for me. Awww...I'm spoiled and know it!
(F) Favorite Color: Yellow--although I rarely wear it or decorate with it. It is just a happy color!
(G) Gold or Silver? Silver
(H) Height: 5’7″ (at least)
(I) Instruments You Play: piano (Not really that good with my left hand though)
(J) Job Title: Mom, Wife, Teacher
(K) Kids: 2 girls
(L) Live: Georgia
(M) Mom’s Name: Nana
(N) Nicknames: J
(O) Overnight Hospital Stays? Too many to list!!!!
(P) Pet Peeve: People who don't follow the "rules"
(Q) Quote from a Movie: "I'm a fly by the seat of my pants kind of girl." Pretty Woman (That's the only thing I could think of)
(R) Right or Left Handed? Right
(S) Siblings: 2 sisters
(T) Time You Wake Up: 5am on the weekdays...as late as my kids let me on Saturday, and 7am on Sunday
(U) Underwear: How do I answer this? Yes! I like pretty ones...
(V) Vegetable You Dislike: brussel sprouts
(W) What Makes You Run Late: my kids dressing American Girl dolls instead of themselves
(X) X-Rays You’ve Had Done: teeth, foot, arm, leg
(Y) Yummy Food You Make: Spaghetti, Broccoli/Chicken Casserole, Shrimp Dip, Meatballs, Taco Ring, Dried Beef Dip, Nieman Marcus Bars, Peanut Butter Cookies...ummm...do you see why I have a weight problem???
(Z) Zoo, Favorite Animal: Monkey
Have a fun day!!!!!!!!!
J
(A) Age: 36 (How and when did this happen!)
(B) Bed Size: King
(C) Chore You Hate: Getting ready for the housekeeper to come! Oh, I crack myself up! No, I really don't like putting laundry away. I'm good with washing, drying, and folding. Not so good with putting it away...
(D) Dogs? No, we have an asthmatic child who desperately wants a dog!
(E) Essential Start Your Day Item: My husband waking me up with a hug and a cup of coffee in his hand for me. Awww...I'm spoiled and know it!
(F) Favorite Color: Yellow--although I rarely wear it or decorate with it. It is just a happy color!
(G) Gold or Silver? Silver
(H) Height: 5’7″ (at least)
(I) Instruments You Play: piano (Not really that good with my left hand though)
(J) Job Title: Mom, Wife, Teacher
(K) Kids: 2 girls
(L) Live: Georgia
(M) Mom’s Name: Nana
(N) Nicknames: J
(O) Overnight Hospital Stays? Too many to list!!!!
(P) Pet Peeve: People who don't follow the "rules"
(Q) Quote from a Movie: "I'm a fly by the seat of my pants kind of girl." Pretty Woman (That's the only thing I could think of)
(R) Right or Left Handed? Right
(S) Siblings: 2 sisters
(T) Time You Wake Up: 5am on the weekdays...as late as my kids let me on Saturday, and 7am on Sunday
(U) Underwear: How do I answer this? Yes! I like pretty ones...
(V) Vegetable You Dislike: brussel sprouts
(W) What Makes You Run Late: my kids dressing American Girl dolls instead of themselves
(X) X-Rays You’ve Had Done: teeth, foot, arm, leg
(Y) Yummy Food You Make: Spaghetti, Broccoli/Chicken Casserole, Shrimp Dip, Meatballs, Taco Ring, Dried Beef Dip, Nieman Marcus Bars, Peanut Butter Cookies...ummm...do you see why I have a weight problem???
(Z) Zoo, Favorite Animal: Monkey
Have a fun day!!!!!!!!!
J
Sunday, March 20, 2011
The Dumps
Boy, I have spent the past two week down in the dumps. I mean, really down. I think it all started around the time that my grandfather passed, but I just haven't pulled myself back up. I'm really at peace with my grandfather's passing...it was time. I'm not sure what it is. I've been busy, PMS, and a little stressed by other things going on.
I even took a few days off from Weight Watchers. If you have been following me since January, you know this is a first for me! I just didn't have the energy to deal with WW. Why? I can't really tell you.
Friday night, I decided I had had enough! I was reading a few blogs and stumbled upon Keelie's blog, Real Fat. This entry "Waiting for the Upswing" was the perfect thing for me to read that day. I really feel like the Lord led me to this blog! I have been in a downswing...but it is time to put an end to all this nonsense. Time for the upswing!
This is how Keelie defines the upswings and the downswings...
Keelie worded it perfectly for me. Being in the upswing is nice, but you have to accept that the downswings will come...BUT the good news is you will come back to the upswings! The time has come to stop MY downswing. Get out of the dumps. I have to defend my hard work as Keelie so eloquently said!
I even took a few days off from Weight Watchers. If you have been following me since January, you know this is a first for me! I just didn't have the energy to deal with WW. Why? I can't really tell you.
Friday night, I decided I had had enough! I was reading a few blogs and stumbled upon Keelie's blog, Real Fat. This entry "Waiting for the Upswing" was the perfect thing for me to read that day. I really feel like the Lord led me to this blog! I have been in a downswing...but it is time to put an end to all this nonsense. Time for the upswing!
This is how Keelie defines the upswings and the downswings...
The upswing--everything is going smoothly, the drive is there,
the effort is there, the planning is there...
to take a term from the book I am reading--
the "want to" is there. You are IN. THE. ZONE.
The downswing-- cravings are in full force,
the couch looks much better than the tennis shoes,
the food prep and planning is not top on the priority list
and the "want to" is kind of asleep...hibernating. BLAH.
Keelie worded it perfectly for me. Being in the upswing is nice, but you have to accept that the downswings will come...BUT the good news is you will come back to the upswings! The time has come to stop MY downswing. Get out of the dumps. I have to defend my hard work as Keelie so eloquently said!
So...I'm back. I did not lose weight this week. No shocker there. But, I am back. I will blog more consistently. I will exercise at least 4 days this week. I will count my points daily! I'm on my way to the 160s for sure!
Go check out Keelie's blog to get inspired. It helped me very much. Thanks, Keelie!
Talk again soon,
J
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Sunshine...
Today, we rode around in our boat on the lake. In the sunshine. Ahhhhhh...it was so nice. Perfect, really. I truly needed it.
The three most special people in my life (husband and two kids) were fishing and playing around and I reclined on the seat and let the sun shine on my face. Perfect.
My monthly visitor stopped by yesterday. PMS isn't my friend lately. When has she ever been, right? But recently it's worse. Is that age or what? I feel really lousy when she hits and my mood takes a dive...a low dive. I know it, but I really can't control it. To be honest, I only wanted to lay around in the bed all day. But, my husband encouraged me to come out with them today. And, I'm really glad I did. For a couple of hours, I forgot about the cramps, bloating, and cravings!
It is a perfect weather day. A perfect day to go out and enjoy God's world. I am very thankful for today.
I weighed in at 175 yesterday (even with the visitor)! I'll take it!
I didn't run very much this week so I am hoping to get back to that at least 4 times this week.
Does anyone have a favorite healthy cracker that you recommend?
Hope you have sunshine today, too!
J
The three most special people in my life (husband and two kids) were fishing and playing around and I reclined on the seat and let the sun shine on my face. Perfect.
My monthly visitor stopped by yesterday. PMS isn't my friend lately. When has she ever been, right? But recently it's worse. Is that age or what? I feel really lousy when she hits and my mood takes a dive...a low dive. I know it, but I really can't control it. To be honest, I only wanted to lay around in the bed all day. But, my husband encouraged me to come out with them today. And, I'm really glad I did. For a couple of hours, I forgot about the cramps, bloating, and cravings!
It is a perfect weather day. A perfect day to go out and enjoy God's world. I am very thankful for today.
I weighed in at 175 yesterday (even with the visitor)! I'll take it!
I didn't run very much this week so I am hoping to get back to that at least 4 times this week.
Does anyone have a favorite healthy cracker that you recommend?
Hope you have sunshine today, too!
J
Friday, March 11, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Guess What!!!
I snapped out of my pity party today! Wow, it has been a tough couple of weeks! Sad, busy, overwhelming...lots of family stuff. Helping my mom with her mom. And, I'm PMS...not a good combination!
But guess what.... I weighed 175.2 today! For some reason, I was so happy to see that 5! It made me think that the 160s are close! I'm working hard to get there! I can't wait!
Today, I was telling an overweight woman at work today about Weight Watchers and what it has meant to me.
She commented that she could really tell I was losing weight. She asked, how are you doing it? I answered with Dawne's line "Eating less, and moving more." Then she asked, "But are you using a plan?"
I told her WW.
She said, "oh, I joined but I never tracked my food or logged on." I was torn...should I say "well, you have to do the work to see results" or encourage her try again??? I mean, that was me before now. I always made excuses!
I just told her what had helped me. Logging my daily points. Learning how to measure food...I had no CLUE about portions, discovering moderation (key!), and exercise.
Maybe it helped.
I'm happy with 175.2 today. Hope Friday...is lower.
J
But guess what.... I weighed 175.2 today! For some reason, I was so happy to see that 5! It made me think that the 160s are close! I'm working hard to get there! I can't wait!
Today, I was telling an overweight woman at work today about Weight Watchers and what it has meant to me.
She commented that she could really tell I was losing weight. She asked, how are you doing it? I answered with Dawne's line "Eating less, and moving more." Then she asked, "But are you using a plan?"
I told her WW.
She said, "oh, I joined but I never tracked my food or logged on." I was torn...should I say "well, you have to do the work to see results" or encourage her try again??? I mean, that was me before now. I always made excuses!
I just told her what had helped me. Logging my daily points. Learning how to measure food...I had no CLUE about portions, discovering moderation (key!), and exercise.
Maybe it helped.
I'm happy with 175.2 today. Hope Friday...is lower.
J
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Not Enough Land
Have you ever been there?
I used to take extended vacations at this not so lovely place of "Not Enough Land."
I wasn't thin enough to:
I could probably make the list a lot longer if I had time to sit and think!
I see how much my self-worth was tied to my weight. I wish so much that it wasn't true. I wish that I wasn't insecure. I wish I knew I was valued by others regardless of my weight. Why did I let something have such control over me? Why didn't I take control of IT sooner if bothered me so much?
Does this make me vain? Why do I care so much about these extra pounds? Why have I let my weight have such influence over most decisions I make?
I am starting to feel better, and I am confident this summer will be more fun than last. I do swim, boat, ski with my family...just not in front of guests. I am thinking a lot is about to change about me.
I'm done visiting Not Enough Land.
I am enough. JUST AS ME.
You are too,
J
I used to take extended vacations at this not so lovely place of "Not Enough Land."
I wasn't thin enough to:
- wear sleeveless shirts
- swim in public with my children
- wear shorts (longer ones) in 100* weather
- wear cute summer dresses
- dance in front of others
- draw attention to myself
- wear fashionable clothes
- walk proudly alongside my two sisters
- see people that I haven't seen in awhile
- stand up for myself
- try new things
- walk in front of a large group of people
- try on clothes at stores
- step on the scale with confidence at the doctor's office
- enjoy a girls vacation to the beach with my friends
- spend money on my clothes
I could probably make the list a lot longer if I had time to sit and think!
I see how much my self-worth was tied to my weight. I wish so much that it wasn't true. I wish that I wasn't insecure. I wish I knew I was valued by others regardless of my weight. Why did I let something have such control over me? Why didn't I take control of IT sooner if bothered me so much?
Does this make me vain? Why do I care so much about these extra pounds? Why have I let my weight have such influence over most decisions I make?
I am starting to feel better, and I am confident this summer will be more fun than last. I do swim, boat, ski with my family...just not in front of guests. I am thinking a lot is about to change about me.
I'm done visiting Not Enough Land.
I am enough. JUST AS ME.
You are too,
J
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