I was never one to give into peer pressure. Never one to do something just because everyone else was doing it. I was a very responsible high school and college student. Not perfect, but very good most of the time.
I wasn't big on the partying that took place all around me. As insecure as I am about my weight, I could be around those who were drinking, smoking and having sex ...and still not do it. I never felt that kind of peer pressure.
However, I fell victim to peer pressure the other day...PEACH COBBLER. Several people at school know I am on Weight Watchers. As we sat down at a Teacher Appreciation celebration, my friends were raving about this peach cobbler made just.for.us. They would take bites and close their eyes in the deliciousness of the sweetness. Pretty soon, they were begging me to try it. I caved. One bite led to an entire serving. It was so good, but I regretted it instantly. Not because I can never have peach cobbler. Of course, I can in moderation. I regretted it because I didn't want it. I wasn't even hungry. I had my points set for the day. The cobbler pushed me over my count. I usually try to plan for those things. I have to learn that I am going to be in social situations where people will offer me goodies. My weight loss is not a big deal to them, but it is very important to me.
I have to keep that in the forefront of my mind...
Just say no,
J
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
High School
I wasn't the most popular girl in high school nor the least. I was definitely part of the "in" crowd, but I was also in a show choir and AP classes. Hence, I had a very diverse group of friends. BUT, I always felt a little different...older than them might be the best way to say it. I've posted on this before...being an old soul. I think it comes from surviving a near fatal injury. To be honest, I'm not really sure. I just never felt as free, or carefree, as my friends. I was aware of a much bigger picture, I guess you could say.
I struggled with my weight back then, too. Nothing like I do now. I guess I fought 15 pounds here and there. My senior year, I ate fat-free jello pudding and a baggie of pretzels every day for 2 meals for a very long time. Border line eating disorder? maybe.
I was definitely insecure. Trying not to be.
Where am I going with this?
Today, I had to walk over to the high school on our campus. As I was walking down the hall, the bell rang. Out poured all of the students to change classes. All at once, I was back in high school. I swear it was like a time warp. Those feelings of insecurity and worrying about what other kids think of me came rushing back. It was weird. I was worried about my appearance on a hallway full of teenagers!!!!
Where do these feelings come from? Will they ever go away?
I wasn't really worried about those kids (but I am glad I teach little ones). But, I instantly remembered those feelings and it wasn't good. At times, those same feelings creep up...in social situations.
I'm eager to begin loving me...no matter what. Maybe it will happen when I grow up! :)
Eating well,
J
I struggled with my weight back then, too. Nothing like I do now. I guess I fought 15 pounds here and there. My senior year, I ate fat-free jello pudding and a baggie of pretzels every day for 2 meals for a very long time. Border line eating disorder? maybe.
I was definitely insecure. Trying not to be.
Where am I going with this?
Today, I had to walk over to the high school on our campus. As I was walking down the hall, the bell rang. Out poured all of the students to change classes. All at once, I was back in high school. I swear it was like a time warp. Those feelings of insecurity and worrying about what other kids think of me came rushing back. It was weird. I was worried about my appearance on a hallway full of teenagers!!!!
Where do these feelings come from? Will they ever go away?
I wasn't really worried about those kids (but I am glad I teach little ones). But, I instantly remembered those feelings and it wasn't good. At times, those same feelings creep up...in social situations.
I'm eager to begin loving me...no matter what. Maybe it will happen when I grow up! :)
Eating well,
J
Sunday, April 10, 2011
The Delete Button
Will I ever be at a weight where I like pictures of myself????
We just returned from vacation...a lovely, lovely trip. I took hundreds of pictures. I was in maybe 25 or so of them. Guess what? I have almost deleted all of them. ALMOST.EVERY.ONE.
Will my kids even realize I was on the trip??? In each one, my eyes went straight to me. Immediately, I found every *bad* thing about me. Delete. Delete. Delete.
I don't give anyone else this option. I think pictures of everyone else are great. I love candid shots of my loved ones...why can't I be satisfied with me??? What weight will I like my picture?
Isn't this sad! I know it! I can't stop critical self.
How does one truly begin to love herself? I know, I know....I can spout off all the things you are probably going to write to me. I believe those things too. God created me. I should love myself. I know all of the right things...I am still so critical. I MUST work on this!
I want my kids to have the pictures of our memories to enjoy later. I'm going to try to avoid the delete button in the future...
CHEESE,
J
We just returned from vacation...a lovely, lovely trip. I took hundreds of pictures. I was in maybe 25 or so of them. Guess what? I have almost deleted all of them. ALMOST.EVERY.ONE.
Will my kids even realize I was on the trip??? In each one, my eyes went straight to me. Immediately, I found every *bad* thing about me. Delete. Delete. Delete.
I don't give anyone else this option. I think pictures of everyone else are great. I love candid shots of my loved ones...why can't I be satisfied with me??? What weight will I like my picture?
Isn't this sad! I know it! I can't stop critical self.
How does one truly begin to love herself? I know, I know....I can spout off all the things you are probably going to write to me. I believe those things too. God created me. I should love myself. I know all of the right things...I am still so critical. I MUST work on this!
I want my kids to have the pictures of our memories to enjoy later. I'm going to try to avoid the delete button in the future...
CHEESE,
J
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Gallbladder and Weight
I weighed 175.8 today. I was very happy with that. Just a little over a week ago I was 179. I've lost since I stopped the binge...go figure!. I have one more pound to go to get back to my lowest 174.8. I feel back in control. Here we go....again. At least I didn't totally lose control and give up as I have done so many times.
We went to Disney World over Spring Break. It was fun and I kept my eating in moderation with a few indulgences...it was vacation after all!!! I'm sure my loss was due to tons of walking...there was NO TIME to run. That's the kind of vacation you need a vacation from! Busy, busy, busy!!! We were on the go from sun-up to sundown!!! Truly!
However, I got sick on the last night and began to vomit. I threw up 3 times. I was then met by intense pain in my back. And, I began belching like crazy. I had a gallbladder attack (that was MUCH worse) about 10 years ago. I'm beginning to wonder if this was gallbladder problems again. I didn't eat spicy food, but I did eat a "rich" Polynesian meal with a glass of wine the night before. I very rarely drink alcohol...probably less than 5 times a year and never more than one glass. Has anyone else ever had gallbladder problems and can give me advice? If my back pain continues, I'll probably see my doctor on Monday. It's pretty bad.
One other bad habit that came back was drinking Diet Coke. Now, I know they are zero points on WW. And some of you feel that I should just drink it, but to me...it leads to 1, 2, 3, then 8 DC's a day. It gets out of control. So yesterday, I went back on the water only drinking plan. Well, I have to have one coffee in the morning, but after that...only H2O.
Now that my eating is under control and I'm drinking water...I need to up my running again. I plan to post my mileage b/c that really helped me last time.
I want to be under 170 by the end of April. Is this doable? I guess we will see!
Here I go!
J
We went to Disney World over Spring Break. It was fun and I kept my eating in moderation with a few indulgences...it was vacation after all!!! I'm sure my loss was due to tons of walking...there was NO TIME to run. That's the kind of vacation you need a vacation from! Busy, busy, busy!!! We were on the go from sun-up to sundown!!! Truly!
However, I got sick on the last night and began to vomit. I threw up 3 times. I was then met by intense pain in my back. And, I began belching like crazy. I had a gallbladder attack (that was MUCH worse) about 10 years ago. I'm beginning to wonder if this was gallbladder problems again. I didn't eat spicy food, but I did eat a "rich" Polynesian meal with a glass of wine the night before. I very rarely drink alcohol...probably less than 5 times a year and never more than one glass. Has anyone else ever had gallbladder problems and can give me advice? If my back pain continues, I'll probably see my doctor on Monday. It's pretty bad.
One other bad habit that came back was drinking Diet Coke. Now, I know they are zero points on WW. And some of you feel that I should just drink it, but to me...it leads to 1, 2, 3, then 8 DC's a day. It gets out of control. So yesterday, I went back on the water only drinking plan. Well, I have to have one coffee in the morning, but after that...only H2O.
Now that my eating is under control and I'm drinking water...I need to up my running again. I plan to post my mileage b/c that really helped me last time.
I want to be under 170 by the end of April. Is this doable? I guess we will see!
Here I go!
J
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
New faves...
I have fallen in love with these new (to me) items...
These are 6 points on WW. I have had one almost every morning...mmmm. I heat it up while I am loading my girls in the mornings. Then, I come back inside and take it with my coffee and eat on the way to work. It has become my perfect solution for a quick and easy breakfast on the go on school mornings. Delish.
I love a wedge of this creamy cheese on Wheat Thin crackers. It is a low in points snack or great with a salad for lunch.
Do you have any favorite new snacks or foods you like?
J
Monday, April 4, 2011
It won't work, if you don't work it...
When I derailed my train over the past two weeks, I also had this amazing a-ha moment...
wait for it...
my "program" won't work for me, if I don't work for it!
meaning, if I don't count points--I blow through my healthy lifestyle. I overeat. I don't eat in moderation. I have no self-control. When I blow it, even one little meal, I tend to throw in the towel for the day. I know, it makes no sense! But, that is my pattern. I have got to learn, this doesn't work for me, or for anyone.
meaning, if I don't work my body: a) I don't feel good, b) stress consumes me, c) I don't help myself lose more weight, d) I don't tone, and e) feeling more and more miserable usually makes me eat and eat more. But when I exercise, it gives me even more motivation to stay on course. So, I've got to work out. Work it!
meaning, I have to hold myself accountable consistently to you. I have chosen this forum to help me in this journey. I cannot hide from you. I have to be honest about the good time and the bad times. My highs and my lows. My times of strength and my times of weakness. This swing is inevitable, and it is perfectly okay. I do not have to be perfect. There was only one perfect person to walk the earth: Jesus. So, the sooner I believe it is okay to slip, get up quickly, admit to it, and move on, the better off I will be.
Thanks for listening,
J
wait for it...
my "program" won't work for me, if I don't work for it!
meaning, if I don't count points--I blow through my healthy lifestyle. I overeat. I don't eat in moderation. I have no self-control. When I blow it, even one little meal, I tend to throw in the towel for the day. I know, it makes no sense! But, that is my pattern. I have got to learn, this doesn't work for me, or for anyone.
meaning, if I don't work my body: a) I don't feel good, b) stress consumes me, c) I don't help myself lose more weight, d) I don't tone, and e) feeling more and more miserable usually makes me eat and eat more. But when I exercise, it gives me even more motivation to stay on course. So, I've got to work out. Work it!
meaning, I have to hold myself accountable consistently to you. I have chosen this forum to help me in this journey. I cannot hide from you. I have to be honest about the good time and the bad times. My highs and my lows. My times of strength and my times of weakness. This swing is inevitable, and it is perfectly okay. I do not have to be perfect. There was only one perfect person to walk the earth: Jesus. So, the sooner I believe it is okay to slip, get up quickly, admit to it, and move on, the better off I will be.
Thanks for listening,
J
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Binge
Here is what I have always known but I relearned during my emotional eating:
Diet Coke still leaves me feeling bloated.
Nothing quenches thirst like water.
Greasy food gives me indigestion, makes my face break out, and causes my digestive system problems.
When I make healthy choices, I feel good and have lots of energy.
I am a grump when I gain weight.
I don't sleep well when I don't eat well.
I hate it when my pants feel tight.
I don't like feeling out of control.
Eating does not help my stress level.
Eating does not help my emotions.
Eating does not make my problems go away.
****I will reread this list next time I am feeling under pressure. I don't need to do "this" every time the going gets tough.
Hanging in there,
J
Diet Coke still leaves me feeling bloated.
Nothing quenches thirst like water.
Greasy food gives me indigestion, makes my face break out, and causes my digestive system problems.
When I make healthy choices, I feel good and have lots of energy.
I am a grump when I gain weight.
I don't sleep well when I don't eat well.
I hate it when my pants feel tight.
I don't like feeling out of control.
Eating does not help my stress level.
Eating does not help my emotions.
Eating does not make my problems go away.
****I will reread this list next time I am feeling under pressure. I don't need to do "this" every time the going gets tough.
Hanging in there,
J
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