Okay! Well, first things first.
I weighed in today at 190. Some may say: "Good job. You didn't gain on vacation."
But...it's been two weeks b/c I missed last week. And, here's the deal. I was SO VERY good. Let me tell you! I walked and RAN people! On the hot beaches of Daytona! for 2.5 miles---five days while I was there. I also did squats and sit ups!!! I also ate lots of fruit and grilled stuff! I never ate snacks! I drank lots of water. I was expecting some loss! (Confession--I did cheat a bit the 2-3 days prior to us leaving-stress induced, I'm sure---maybe I gained weight and lost it, who knows?) Anyway, I was expecting a bit more.
However, I will not be discouraged. I have exercised this morning already. I have had a yogurt with cantaloupe, strawberries, and blueberries. AND...big step for me--I am getting up my nerve to post a "before" picture of me. Maybe this afternoon or tomorrow. My nephews are coming to stay with me today...so I've been cooking (they are teenagers that eat and eat and eat).They want to play on the lake for a day or two. It will be another busy two days. But, I'm trying to do this blog the "right way" and I think that pictures will help me stay accountable. I've missed blogging with you all.
My beach trip was wonderful. My MIL was not overly horrible. She was tolerable which was nice. I was able to prance around in my bathing suit with an "I don't care what you think" mentality and play with my kids and husband. We had great weather, beautiful blue water (I didn't remember Daytona had that), and huge waves. Everyone had a blast. Thanks for the warm wishes for me!
Now, I'm going to check on every one's blogs to catch up on you! :)
Good to be home. J
Monday, June 28, 2010
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Wish Me Luck, I'm Gonna Need It!
We are leaving in the wee hours of the morning for the beach (so the little ones will sleep along the way--hopefully!). Anyway, we are going for SEVEN days with my in-laws. I really do love them all, but you all know about my MIL. I am hoping that my self-esteem can take an entire week of her fat comments...especially with me in a swim suit. So, I would appreciate all prayers, well-wishes, warm and happy thoughts sent my way...
I was reading People Magazine yesterday (I know, high-brow literature, right?). It did wonders for my self-esteem. The main feature is "50 Most Amazing Bodies"...well, I had to read these fabulous body secrets. One slim star said..."I have a diet secret: It's called control." Now, at first I thought the little young thing was being sassy. But, you know what, she's right. Self-control: eating and activity. I control both of those things in my life (most of the time...yesterday's doctor's visit felt like they controlled my activity for a LONG time--but I digress). Even though, I will never look like the girl in the magazine (it's way too late for that--not being negative, it's reality people), I can feel in control of ME. I will control my eating and I will control my exercise (I mean by actually doing it).
I am also going to TRY to control my thoughts. This one is the most difficult for me, I think. I am so, terribly hard on myself. I remember weighing 125 pounds (my lowest adult weight since college...I'm about 5'7" maybe a little more). I was THIN, friends. But you know what! I still complained about my thighs. Ridiculous I tell you. Oh, how I wish I could talk to my 25 year old self. And...I remember feeling so fat at 160...I mean I felt really bad about me. What I wouldn't give to see that number on the scale again! It's all relative, isn't it! I'm going to try to find nice things about me instead of looking for all the flaws.
On another note...
I hope you all have a Happy Father's Day weekend.
5 things I love about my husband as a father:
1. My kids run to door EVERY night when he gets home from work. :)
2. He plays "tea party" with my little girls even though I'm sure he'd rather do 100 other things.
3. He takes time to talk to them on the phone during the day even though I know he is SO busy at work.
4. He takes them on Daddy Date Nights so mommy can keep her sanity.
5. My kids know he loves them and will always be there for them.
I am really blessed to have such a wonderful husband, and I have a great father, too. I hope you are blessed as well.
I'll be MIA for a week. I hope you don't forget about me! Keep shedding the pounds!
:)
J
I was reading People Magazine yesterday (I know, high-brow literature, right?). It did wonders for my self-esteem. The main feature is "50 Most Amazing Bodies"...well, I had to read these fabulous body secrets. One slim star said..."I have a diet secret: It's called control." Now, at first I thought the little young thing was being sassy. But, you know what, she's right. Self-control: eating and activity. I control both of those things in my life (most of the time...yesterday's doctor's visit felt like they controlled my activity for a LONG time--but I digress). Even though, I will never look like the girl in the magazine (it's way too late for that--not being negative, it's reality people), I can feel in control of ME. I will control my eating and I will control my exercise (I mean by actually doing it).
I am also going to TRY to control my thoughts. This one is the most difficult for me, I think. I am so, terribly hard on myself. I remember weighing 125 pounds (my lowest adult weight since college...I'm about 5'7" maybe a little more). I was THIN, friends. But you know what! I still complained about my thighs. Ridiculous I tell you. Oh, how I wish I could talk to my 25 year old self. And...I remember feeling so fat at 160...I mean I felt really bad about me. What I wouldn't give to see that number on the scale again! It's all relative, isn't it! I'm going to try to find nice things about me instead of looking for all the flaws.
On another note...
I hope you all have a Happy Father's Day weekend.
5 things I love about my husband as a father:
1. My kids run to door EVERY night when he gets home from work. :)
2. He plays "tea party" with my little girls even though I'm sure he'd rather do 100 other things.
3. He takes time to talk to them on the phone during the day even though I know he is SO busy at work.
4. He takes them on Daddy Date Nights so mommy can keep her sanity.
5. My kids know he loves them and will always be there for them.
I am really blessed to have such a wonderful husband, and I have a great father, too. I hope you are blessed as well.
I'll be MIA for a week. I hope you don't forget about me! Keep shedding the pounds!
:)
J
Friday, June 18, 2010
Me, Discoveries
I am learning new things about myself during this journey.
J
- I was always an "all or nothing" dieter. I thought there was no room for error. No slip ups on the diet, exercise at least one hour a day...only one day off a week. Of course, most of this was pre-babies. I've only been successful once since having them. Can you call it success when you've gained it all back? You know what I mean. I would mess up one day, it would lead to the downward spiral, then off the deep-end! Then, I would quit. This time, I'm trying to remember, I'm not perfect and that is okay. I can take small steps. I can change slowly. This is for a lifetime. Not a quick fix.
- I am reluctant to change everything. I feel guilty for making my family eat differently. They don't have problems. I do. I firmly believe I would be a healthy weight if I ate normal portions and exercised...and DID NOT sneak food like chocolate, chips, cookies in between meals! Oh, my! I think I am a food-aholic!
- I like knowing what to buy at the store. New recipes scare me. First, I have to find the stuff. Second, I have to have it all written down. Third, what if we don't like it. What a waste of money. With a hubby and 2 little kids to feed, I like them saying, "Mom is the bestest cook ever!"
- I make excuses. I don't like this about myself. Vacations, sick kids, etc. Today, my oldest child woke up sick. Doctor visits (why does it always take forever??) and pharmacy visits---I feel like my day is almost over. I find myself making excuses as to why I can't exercise. Don't worry. I'm going for a run (thanks for the inspiration Barbara).
- I like to eat. I feel like I missing something when I don't get to eat what everyone else is. Like life isn't fair! Isn't this the silliest thing you have ever heard?
- I want results, and I want them now! That sounds funny coming from me in light of what I've just written above! I want to be skinny, but....I make excuses, eat a lot, etc. etc. etc. Come on, self.
Get with the program. Weight Loss=Wait Loss - I need to believe in me.
J
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Home, Sweet, Home
Well,
I'm home. It was a nice, quick get away. I won some battles, I lost some battles...I did great on most meals, but I did eat one FRIED shrimp meal and one ice cream cone. I walked a lot though. Maybe, it won't hurt me too bad! I tried not to be too miserable next to my gorgeous sister on the beach!
Have I mentioned that I have two younger, beautiful, thin sisters? One of them is tall, model beautiful, and very thin, with long flowing dark hair....the other is also thin and looks a lot like me...just the improved version--just downright pretty and sweet! I know I sound like I'm fishing for compliments out of comparison to my sisters. I'm not. We are all best friends, all have unique gifts, and we are all blessed. I'm not jealous of them at all (well, maybe a little of their thighs). But I love them dearly!
I definitely suffer from some rare disorder of comparing myself to every woman that walks by me. I realized this on the beach. I don't do it in a mean way. It is more in a way..."Am I measuring up?" I would think, I want hair like her, I want a tummy like her, I want thighs like her.... I need help, I know. (I saw a super skinny/toned woman who had just had twins come out with her stroller on the beach....I was thinking...WHAT?????) I'm working on my confidence. I am working on ME, every aspect of me. Insecurity eats away at me at times. (I know it's not pretty!)
I wanted to answer some questions that were posted about my last post.
1. My mother in law is very petite. She is only 5'2" ish and maybe 100 pounds give or take 5 depending on the day. She loves to tell everyone her weight.
2. My husband does stand up to her frequently. I'm not sure if she doesn't hear him, believe him, or care. But, he's a good guy. I am very blessed to have him. He would tell you the same about me. We know God has taken care of us. He is cancer survivor, and we know all about teamwork. He's totally on my team and always has my back. No worries there. Thanks for your concern though.
I really missed reading about all of you!
I'm totally back on the plan...til Sunday when we leave for another trip! :)
I'm home. It was a nice, quick get away. I won some battles, I lost some battles...I did great on most meals, but I did eat one FRIED shrimp meal and one ice cream cone. I walked a lot though. Maybe, it won't hurt me too bad! I tried not to be too miserable next to my gorgeous sister on the beach!
Have I mentioned that I have two younger, beautiful, thin sisters? One of them is tall, model beautiful, and very thin, with long flowing dark hair....the other is also thin and looks a lot like me...just the improved version--just downright pretty and sweet! I know I sound like I'm fishing for compliments out of comparison to my sisters. I'm not. We are all best friends, all have unique gifts, and we are all blessed. I'm not jealous of them at all (well, maybe a little of their thighs). But I love them dearly!
I definitely suffer from some rare disorder of comparing myself to every woman that walks by me. I realized this on the beach. I don't do it in a mean way. It is more in a way..."Am I measuring up?" I would think, I want hair like her, I want a tummy like her, I want thighs like her.... I need help, I know. (I saw a super skinny/toned woman who had just had twins come out with her stroller on the beach....I was thinking...WHAT?????) I'm working on my confidence. I am working on ME, every aspect of me. Insecurity eats away at me at times. (I know it's not pretty!)
I wanted to answer some questions that were posted about my last post.
1. My mother in law is very petite. She is only 5'2" ish and maybe 100 pounds give or take 5 depending on the day. She loves to tell everyone her weight.
2. My husband does stand up to her frequently. I'm not sure if she doesn't hear him, believe him, or care. But, he's a good guy. I am very blessed to have him. He would tell you the same about me. We know God has taken care of us. He is cancer survivor, and we know all about teamwork. He's totally on my team and always has my back. No worries there. Thanks for your concern though.
I really missed reading about all of you!
I'm totally back on the plan...til Sunday when we leave for another trip! :)
Home, Sweet, Home
Well,
I'm home. It was a nice, quick get away. I won some battles, I lost some battles...I did great on most meals, but I did eat one FRIED shrimp meal and one ice cream cone. I walked a lot though. Maybe, it won't hurt me too bad! I tried not to be too miserable next to my gorgeous sister on the beach!
Have I mentioned that I have two younger, beautiful, thin sisters? One of them is tall, model beautiful, and very thin, with long flowing dark hair....the other is also thin and looks a lot like me...just the improved version--just downright pretty and sweet! I know I sound like I'm fishing for compliments out of comparison to my sisters. I'm not. We are all best friends, all have unique gifts, and we are all blessed. I'm not jealous of them at all (well, maybe a little of their thighs). But I love them dearly!
I definitely suffer from some rare disorder of comparing myself to every woman that walks by me. I realized this on the beach. I don't do it in a mean way. It is more in a way..."Am I measuring up?" I would think, I want hair like her, I want a tummy like her, I want thighs like her.... I need help, I know. (I saw a super skinny/toned woman who had just had twins come out with her stroller on the beach....I was thinking...WHAT?????) I'm working on my confidence. I am working on ME, every aspect of me. Insecurity eats away at me at times. (I know it's not pretty!)
I wanted to answer some questions that were posted about my last post.
1. My mother in law is very petite. She is only 5'2" ish and maybe 100 pounds give or take 5 depending on the day. She loves to tell everyone her weight.
2. My husband does stand up to her frequently. I'm not sure if she doesn't hear him, believe him, or care. But, he's a good guy. I am very blessed to have him. He would tell you the same about me. We know God has taken care of us. He is cancer survivor, and we know all about teamwork. He's totally on my team and always has my back. No worries there. Thanks for your concern though.
I really missed reading about all of you!
I'm totally back on the plan...til Sunday when we leave for another trip! :)
I'm home. It was a nice, quick get away. I won some battles, I lost some battles...I did great on most meals, but I did eat one FRIED shrimp meal and one ice cream cone. I walked a lot though. Maybe, it won't hurt me too bad! I tried not to be too miserable next to my gorgeous sister on the beach!
Have I mentioned that I have two younger, beautiful, thin sisters? One of them is tall, model beautiful, and very thin, with long flowing dark hair....the other is also thin and looks a lot like me...just the improved version--just downright pretty and sweet! I know I sound like I'm fishing for compliments out of comparison to my sisters. I'm not. We are all best friends, all have unique gifts, and we are all blessed. I'm not jealous of them at all (well, maybe a little of their thighs). But I love them dearly!
I definitely suffer from some rare disorder of comparing myself to every woman that walks by me. I realized this on the beach. I don't do it in a mean way. It is more in a way..."Am I measuring up?" I would think, I want hair like her, I want a tummy like her, I want thighs like her.... I need help, I know. (I saw a super skinny/toned woman who had just had twins come out with her stroller on the beach....I was thinking...WHAT?????) I'm working on my confidence. I am working on ME, every aspect of me. Insecurity eats away at me at times. (I know it's not pretty!)
I wanted to answer some questions that were posted about my last post.
1. My mother in law is very petite. She is only 5'2" ish and maybe 100 pounds give or take 5 depending on the day. She loves to tell everyone her weight.
2. My husband does stand up to her frequently. I'm not sure if she doesn't hear him, believe him, or care. But, he's a good guy. I am very blessed to have him. He would tell you the same about me. We know God has taken care of us. He is cancer survivor, and we know all about teamwork. He's totally on my team and always has my back. No worries there. Thanks for your concern though.
I really missed reading about all of you!
I'm totally back on the plan...til Sunday when we leave for another trip! :)
Monday, June 14, 2010
A Pretty Backbone
Good weigh-in today! :) So, it was a very BUSY weekend.
On Saturday, I walked out of the bedroom and my husband says, I can tell you've lost weight. He may have been "just being nice" but it still made me feel good. I'm a bottom heavy girl. My waist is okay, my thighs...oh my word! Well, lots of work to do there! I'm going to try to run more this week and see how the scale looks. Maybe less bread too.
We played on the lake. My favorite thing--out in the boat, in my bathing suit, riding over bumpy waves (lots of jiggle)...it was fun. I really do love it all (except the bathing suit part), but living on the lake, I have no choice about the b.suit part! I kept telling myself...insecurity isn't pretty...the whole time, and tried to enjoy wakeboarding and tubing with my kids. Yes, I do all those things!
That evening, I tried to channel my friend over at Bring Pretty Back. I had to go to a 50th birthday for my dear friend. It was an outdoor party, and I knew it was going to be hot! Usually, I cover up with cardigans and too big clothes, but I decided to improve myself. I put on a black sundress (I know black doesn't sound sundress-y but it was--it had straps and showed my arms---something I haven't done for a long time.) So, I really tried to be confident in the dress. I think I did an okay job. The skirt on the dress was A line so it was very forgiving...that helped! :)
Now, on Sunday. We did our usual church routine. I had to speak in front of a large group which I usually don't do either. I teach children, but I really don't like to talk in front of adults. But I did it. Everyone said I did great...it's over, thank the Lord!
We always go out to eat after church with the in-laws...here's where I got a backbone. Hold onto your seat! You know how my MIL is always making fat comments and not just about me; oh, she got lots to say about your weight, too! When she gets on a roll about overweight people, I always want to shout, there's one sitting right here in front of you. But anyway, this really isn't about me this time. My sis-in-law is her target. Now, C (we'll call her), is about size 8, skinny legs, maybe has a little weight around the middle but not much, still wears a bikini, and isn't shy about anything. C is wearing a black/white tank dress. She finishes lunch and this went down.
MIL to C: You need to suck in, you're getting fat.
C: Mother, you are the only one who thinks I'm fat. Stop saying that! I'm tired of it.
MIL: You look better thinner.
C: I am thin. Everyone thinks I am thin. YOU are the only one who says these things to me.
C looks at me and says: J, do you think I'm right about this?
ME: I think you look great!
C: See?
ME to MIL: It's wrong of you to say that to her. She looks great. If you think she if fat, I can only imagine what you say about me behind my back! Women can be pretty in all shapes, sizes, and colors.
ME to C: You look great!
and we walk out of the place.
We all hug and get into our cars. My hubby says, well I'm proud that you finally got a backbone with her! :)
I'm glad too. I hope it doesn't weigh too much!
I'm leaving for the beach tomorrow. Wish me luck....oh, the good eats, temptation!
On Saturday, I walked out of the bedroom and my husband says, I can tell you've lost weight. He may have been "just being nice" but it still made me feel good. I'm a bottom heavy girl. My waist is okay, my thighs...oh my word! Well, lots of work to do there! I'm going to try to run more this week and see how the scale looks. Maybe less bread too.
We played on the lake. My favorite thing--out in the boat, in my bathing suit, riding over bumpy waves (lots of jiggle)...it was fun. I really do love it all (except the bathing suit part), but living on the lake, I have no choice about the b.suit part! I kept telling myself...insecurity isn't pretty...the whole time, and tried to enjoy wakeboarding and tubing with my kids. Yes, I do all those things!
That evening, I tried to channel my friend over at Bring Pretty Back. I had to go to a 50th birthday for my dear friend. It was an outdoor party, and I knew it was going to be hot! Usually, I cover up with cardigans and too big clothes, but I decided to improve myself. I put on a black sundress (I know black doesn't sound sundress-y but it was--it had straps and showed my arms---something I haven't done for a long time.) So, I really tried to be confident in the dress. I think I did an okay job. The skirt on the dress was A line so it was very forgiving...that helped! :)
Now, on Sunday. We did our usual church routine. I had to speak in front of a large group which I usually don't do either. I teach children, but I really don't like to talk in front of adults. But I did it. Everyone said I did great...it's over, thank the Lord!
We always go out to eat after church with the in-laws...here's where I got a backbone. Hold onto your seat! You know how my MIL is always making fat comments and not just about me; oh, she got lots to say about your weight, too! When she gets on a roll about overweight people, I always want to shout, there's one sitting right here in front of you. But anyway, this really isn't about me this time. My sis-in-law is her target. Now, C (we'll call her), is about size 8, skinny legs, maybe has a little weight around the middle but not much, still wears a bikini, and isn't shy about anything. C is wearing a black/white tank dress. She finishes lunch and this went down.
MIL to C: You need to suck in, you're getting fat.
C: Mother, you are the only one who thinks I'm fat. Stop saying that! I'm tired of it.
MIL: You look better thinner.
C: I am thin. Everyone thinks I am thin. YOU are the only one who says these things to me.
C looks at me and says: J, do you think I'm right about this?
ME: I think you look great!
C: See?
ME to MIL: It's wrong of you to say that to her. She looks great. If you think she if fat, I can only imagine what you say about me behind my back! Women can be pretty in all shapes, sizes, and colors.
ME to C: You look great!
and we walk out of the place.
We all hug and get into our cars. My hubby says, well I'm proud that you finally got a backbone with her! :)
I'm glad too. I hope it doesn't weigh too much!
I'm leaving for the beach tomorrow. Wish me luck....oh, the good eats, temptation!
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